Corporations? more like corRICHations.  reblog if you get the joke

You guys at the White House need to relax.







(via giantfailure)

Sext: “Hello, bored NSA agent. How was your day?”

Ugh well first Gary 43 came in here and just kept saying “GAAARRRYYYYY” and had a fucking lead pipe. I’m like Gary you need to chill out, I’m just trying to work on my charisma, know what I mean? And he’s like “Aha! Gary!” and tried to hit me! I don’t know what happened next, but I basically took out the entire Gary wing until I found Gary 1, and that dickhead had a 10mm pistol and fired on me.

Whatever. Today sucked and I don’t even want to make the trek back to my shack house just so I can sleep in my own bed for the well rested bonus.

(Source: whiskeyandspentbrass, via cheekimebreeki)

cerebralzero asked: "love all, support all" but don't support someones right to defend themselves. Seems a bit hypocritical to me. Do you value human life?




I believe that guns should not exist. Simple as that. We made all guns illegal except for in times of war there would be a lot more peace and less un needed deaths.

> guns are bad

>but war is ok

I’m sorry, what?

Well duh CB, it’s only okay for the government to kill people.

I see you’ve finally come around.

Fuck I outed myself







The ATF just called..

Stay frosty 

Door kicking inbound, stay tuned

Maybe they just want your grandma’s secret cookie recipe…

Don’t tell them you have a dog if you do.

When you keep searching for “machine gun cat” you know we’re gonna pass that info on.

residentmadman asked: Not all cops are bad. I saw this one movie where the cop pulls over a guy for speeding, but instead of giving him a ticket, she gives him a blowjob.


are you a cop?

I’m pretty sure he is



You’re telling me.

residentmadman asked: Hey NSA, look at the folders on my computer called "therapist_pictures" and "therapist_pictures_dirtyassholes" I will find you people and you will soon be in those folders.

It’s 400 photos of hamburgers. What the fuck man

residentmadman asked: Can't stop me NSA. I have nothing to hide, so I have nothing to fear. I like electrocuting my dick when I feel suicidal and getting pegged by dickless trannies. You can't stop me. I will hunt you people down.


Sooo, you wanna hang out? Or….

Nevermind. You have an autoplayer on your blog. Date’s off.